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This week I finished A Mother's Heart: A Look at Values, Vision, and Character for the Christian Mother by Jean Fleming. My friend Brenda was talking about it and showed it to me at her home and I asked if I could borrow it. It is a slim book, but filled with encouragement, suggestions, and a "call to action" attitude that I appreciate.
This book happened to have come into my life at a good time because my dear boy Adam has been just driving me so crazy it makes my head hurt. Last week I actually went into the garage to sit in my van and cry. Yes yes, boo hoo hoo.
Maybe it's the terrible twos. Maybe it's because he has 4 teeth coming in at once. Maybe it's just because that's how life is sometimes. Whatever it is he has been throwing so many tantrums I can barely stand it. It isn't just one or two tantrums, it's the all day crying over every little thing that has me seeing stars.
So the book has come in handy because it has a lot of advice about prayer and I've certainly been doing a lot of praying. Mostly for myself. I've been praying for grace. And I've been trying to focus on the long-range knowledge that one day I will look at my big son and long for the days when he was a squishy baby again. And I'm trying to remember that just because he's driving me nuts now, doesn't mean he'll be driving me nuts forever. (Oh Lord, I sincerely hope not!)
Anyway, I get the sense that this post is sounding like a downer. Don't feel sorry for me or anything! It's just part n' parcel to being a mother. Everyone has difficult days no matter what job they do.
And I do want my dear baby to know that I love him dearly. And I love his little laugh and his squishy legs and tushy. And I love the way he talks and how he can never get enough of any kind of ball. But I CAN do without the constant CRYING!