Wednesday, February 25, 2009

On My Nightstand

This week I finished A Mother's Heart: A Look at Values, Vision, and Character for the Christian Mother by Jean Fleming. My friend Brenda was talking about it and showed it to me at her home and I asked if I could borrow it. It is a slim book, but filled with encouragement, suggestions, and a "call to action" attitude that I appreciate.

This book happened to have come into my life at a good time because my dear boy Adam has been just driving me so crazy it makes my head hurt. Last week I actually went into the garage to sit in my van and cry. Yes yes, boo hoo hoo.

Maybe it's the terrible twos. Maybe it's because he has 4 teeth coming in at once. Maybe it's just because that's how life is sometimes. Whatever it is he has been throwing so many tantrums I can barely stand it. It isn't just one or two tantrums, it's the all day crying over every little thing that has me seeing stars.

So the book has come in handy because it has a lot of advice about prayer and I've certainly been doing a lot of praying. Mostly for myself. I've been praying for grace. And I've been trying to focus on the long-range knowledge that one day I will look at my big son and long for the days when he was a squishy baby again. And I'm trying to remember that just because he's driving me nuts now, doesn't mean he'll be driving me nuts forever. (Oh Lord, I sincerely hope not!)

Anyway, I get the sense that this post is sounding like a downer. Don't feel sorry for me or anything! It's just part n' parcel to being a mother. Everyone has difficult days no matter what job they do.

And I do want my dear baby to know that I love him dearly. And I love his little laugh and his squishy legs and tushy. And I love the way he talks and how he can never get enough of any kind of ball. But I CAN do without the constant CRYING!


Iris said...

He is so cute crying! Sorry. I'm a newlymom. Still kissing my baby and giggling when he cries. Aww Jamie, I'm so sorry you are going through that, but glad you have found peace in this book. Perhaps I should remember this blog in two years.

Jamie said...

Today is much better actually. Sometimes figuring out Adam is like trying to figure out a locker combination. It all has to be juuuuust right and then things are good. Certain things set him in a bad way.

I'm sure you will have mostly good days! I mostly do! But I certainly have my share of the stormy ones like everyone else :)

Shannon said...

Ok, it MUST be the teeth (he's getting SIX right now!) and the age?

Connor, my normally super-chill boy, melts down easily these day ... and oh my is it annoying. You can't rationalize w/ him at all once he hits a certain point.

Ack! I feel ya! (Brenda also recommended that book to me - I'm looking forward to reading it!)

Jamie said...

I think you'll enjoy the book Shannon. Connor has six teeth sprouting? oh my oh my. ACK!

Lauren S. said...

that is a great shot of him.

glad you found some encouragement!

Melissa Taylor said...

I'm sorry Jamie..but I can relate!!I deal with running aroung the house constantly (while he's screaming "slow down"), purposly disobeying, not listening, throwing things, high piched screaming..need I go on??? ha, ha I love my boy dearly too, but he is like having 12 two year old boys at the same time. I am worn out by the time Josh gets home. XOXOXO

Jamie said...

Melissa- It's so good to hear from you!! It helps to know that you can relate.

Jamie said...

Melissa- It's so good to hear from you!! It helps to know that you can relate.

Melissa Taylor said...

This too shall pass is what I keep chanting as I lock myself in the bathroom! :) Hang in there...they will be grown up before you know it...then we will be wishing for these days again! (Well, maybe not EXACTLY...but you know what I mean. ha, ha) Daniel is going to be 12 in May - I still can't believe that I have a "tween". I feel old!! Sending you hugs!!