These are the images I keep in my head in regards to discipline:
Sometimes you hold kids like soap. You just hold them up and guide them without squeezing too hard. Because if you squeeze they'll just slip right out and fall on the floor. So you quietly hold and take them where they need to go.
In times like this I can tell one of my kids needs to just BE. And they need time to work it out. They need understanding. They need to know I'm on their team. In times like these I can't make them do exactly what I want, because that will just escalate the whole problem. Usually the perfect remedy is a nap. Sleep cures a lot of things.
Other times I think it's like horses. You need to just grab the reins. Here. Now. Do this. No negotiation.
These are the "you're not wise enough to know what's good for you, so this is simply what you must do" moments. And the "you will obey because you simply must" moments.
It's not all the time soap, or all the time horses. It just depends.