Mom's Diet

This afternoon as I was chewing on crusts of grilled cheese sandwich bread I realized that I have developed quite an interesting diet since becoming a mother. What are the animals that come around and eat the leftovers once the lions have had their feed? Is it a hyena? Or some sort of scavenging bird like a vulture? Well whatever it is, I've become an after-eater.

When I make Frannie a sandwich, she won't eat the crusts. So if I leave them on, and cut the sandwich into quarters, that means she will eat exactly four bites. One corner at a time and she's done. If her mouth detects any sort of crust, the sandwich is rejected unless she is truly starving. Being that I am already exasperated by her bird eating habits and her uber-petite frame, I'm always trying to get her to eat more food. So, the simple answer to the sandwich problem is to simply cut off the crusts. If you've ever cut the crusts off of a child's sandwich you will see that it is quite a lot of food that ends up being wasted. After awhile of this, and of many other food items that are hastily discarded after a few three bites, it becomes apparent that much of our food bill is being thrown right into the trashcan every single day.

So I've developed this habit of eating whatever she doesn't eat which means that the quality of my diet is often determined by the quality of hers. Leftover oatmeal, PB&J crusts, half bitten chicken nuggets, cold scrambled eggs, the yolks of hardboiled eggs (I rarely get any egg white), waffle remnants, bagel pieces, smooshed unga bar (unga=granola), and a just about anything else you can think of that has a half-moon taken out of it. That's my #1 course! If I haven't gotten filled up on her leftovers then I might make myself something more.