Monday, March 3, 2008

Capturing babyhood

So what is it with second children that no one seems to capture their babyhood as much as the first? It seemed with Francesca that I just hung on for every new thing she did and deeply cherished her sweet ways. Even now as she does something new my heart sings a little song because she is at the magical age of three and is always doing or saying something that is just precious. She loves to have me play "The Lady" with her where I'll growl and chase her and she screams "The Lady! Oh no!". She also calls me "mother" all of the time, as in "I gotta listen to my mother" or "I love you mother." Mother always comes out like mudder. I even like listening to her as she tries to get out a complicated thought and she is always tripping over her words and saying certain parts over and over until she gets her thought out right.

I spend so much time tending to Frannie, that I don't have much time to just sit face to face with Adam and pay attention to him alone. The other day Fran was asleep and I got 2 uninterupted hours with Adam and it was like I discovered that I have this magical baby who is every bit as cute and darling as his sister. He has two teeth on the bottom and all gums on top. His smile and laughter melt my heart. I have a tendency to think of Adam as sweet, but a nuisance. I tend to think of him as my complainer who calls out DAH! BAH! EH! slams his fists against things and cries whenever I set him down because I am trying to get something done. During those two hours when it was just the two of us I had the opportunity to just tickle him endlessly and pinch his boody and chase him as he tried to crawl away from me laughing. I had the chance to nuzzle his naked belly with my nose and make him laugh. I was helping him walk all over the place. And showing him his refection in the mirror. I got to just really enjoy him.

So then it got me thinking, how is it that I am an at-home mother and I'm not enjoying my baby the way I could? I realized that he is on my hip or I am setting him down somewhere so that I can tend to something else. Frannie is always interrupting me. I've been taking care of him, but haven't been taking the time to stop and really enjoy him. I don't want to miss his babyhood. I don't want him to be 5 years old in the blink of an eye and wonder where these days went. He is so precious and darling and has the sweetest pure belly laugh of a baby and those pudgy cheeks and gummy grin. My little boy is his own special person.

So I'm resolving to stop more and pay more attention to this baby who is in my arms all of the time. He'll only be a baby once. One day he'll be a big hairy man. Oh dear.

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