These are the images I keep in my head in regards to discipline:
Sometimes you hold kids like soap. You just hold them up and guide them without squeezing too hard. Because if you squeeze they'll just slip right out and fall on the floor. So you quietly hold and take them where they need to go.
In times like this I can tell one of my kids needs to just BE. And they need time to work it out. They need understanding. They need to know I'm on their team. In times like these I can't make them do exactly what I want, because that will just escalate the whole problem. Usually the perfect remedy is a nap. Sleep cures a lot of things.
Other times I think it's like horses. You need to just grab the reins. Here. Now. Do this. No negotiation.
These are the "you're not wise enough to know what's good for you, so this is simply what you must do" moments. And the "you will obey because you simply must" moments.
It's not all the time soap, or all the time horses. It just depends.
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Life is moving and flowing
*Adam and Frannie started school.
*Adam is having an ok, slightly rough transition. He keeps getting hit in the face with basketballs at recess. Fortunately he is now figuring out the bigger playground and seems to be having fewer ball-face contact problems. Earlier in the week he declared he "didn't really like school because there is too much recess."
*He also has some righteous anger about other people, especially GIRLS, cutting in line. I've tried to explain that they're mostly just doing that to stand next to a friend. After all, there isn't a Disneyland ride at the end of the line or anything. But I understand the frustration of wanting to keep one's rightfully earned place in line.
*His behavior is impeccable as I knew it would be. He gets "clipped up" every day. He's a super-good boy.
*Francesca has more homework this year. Plus her piano songs take genuine practice time. Plus she's supposed to be reading 20 mins a day for homework. Plus her twice-a-week soccer practices are pretty much an hour and some change long. Life is getting busier for her with more time-management needed. So far we're trying the strategy of knocking out all the homework on Friday after school so that the rest of the week her "homework" is piano practice and reading.
*The social indoctrination of "girls don't wear dresses" is taking hold once again. I've seen this now each year (but quicker this time) where during the school year she abandons her dresses for jean shorts and t-shirts. (Basically she starts dressing like me- even though really she's dressing like the other girls in school.) During the summer the dresses come back and I consider it her natural state. She even commented that the older girls in school never wear dresses. Yup. I know. Why is this? Nothing wrong with shorts and pants of course. Certainly for Natalie this is her natural state as she hates dresses. This isn't the case for Frannie who has always preferred dresses and skirts. In general my thought process is that whatever she wants to wear is fine as long as whatever she's wearing is fine. She's learning to "fit in" at school. Even though I'd like her to just "be herself" realistically we all take cues from our surroundings as to what is right and appropriate. I would though like to encourage her to wear those things that I know she loves to wear. She can be a very creative dresser and I'm often impressed at the way she can mix colors and patterns in such nice ways. My secret delight is that she loves her looooong hair and wants to grow it longer. This is one way she isn't just like everyone else at school and I like that she likes this special quality about her appearance. (More about the shorts thing- it could also have to do with more PE activities. They make them run a lot.)
*We are homeschooling tap. I found an awesome brand-new pair of Bloch tap shoes at the thrift store in just Frannie's size. Well, a 1/2 size big which is perfect so that she can wear them longer. $3.50 for $50 shoes. LOVE IT!.So since I was disappointed at the teaching at her dance studio, I've decided to just show her how to do tap since I took classes for so many years. We've been doing this for about 2 weeks and she's learned a LOT! She's commented more than once that she's learned more from me than she learned at ballet. I know. That's why I'm not spending the money for crappy dance lessons anymore.
*Natalie is adjusting to the kids being gone during the day by taking a big nap in the afternoon. It's like she's on a long car trip and she knows the quickest way to "get there" is to just sleep through it. So she's been sleeping in the afternoon and waking up just in time to go get the kids.
*Natalie is also learning to read. I knew she would pick up reading pretty easily because she memorizes everything really quickly. She memorizes words to songs much more quickly than Adam. And she memorizes the words of stories very quickly. Even though she can't really read it sometimes seems like she's reading because she remembers all of the words on the page. So without teaching her much of anything, she's sounding out some words.
*Adam is learning to read too, but I don't think he'll really learn until he's closer to 7 like Frannie was. He's doing well though and memorizing his sight words. I firmly believe piano has helped both kids with reading skills. Mrs. Myatt is surprised at how well he's doing with piano and frankly so am I. What I'm most surprised about is how much he practices. He said he didn't want to take piano, but I know how he is and I know that he always starts out saying he doesn't want to do things, but then he likes it later.
*Adam is having an ok, slightly rough transition. He keeps getting hit in the face with basketballs at recess. Fortunately he is now figuring out the bigger playground and seems to be having fewer ball-face contact problems. Earlier in the week he declared he "didn't really like school because there is too much recess."
*He also has some righteous anger about other people, especially GIRLS, cutting in line. I've tried to explain that they're mostly just doing that to stand next to a friend. After all, there isn't a Disneyland ride at the end of the line or anything. But I understand the frustration of wanting to keep one's rightfully earned place in line.
*His behavior is impeccable as I knew it would be. He gets "clipped up" every day. He's a super-good boy.
*Francesca has more homework this year. Plus her piano songs take genuine practice time. Plus she's supposed to be reading 20 mins a day for homework. Plus her twice-a-week soccer practices are pretty much an hour and some change long. Life is getting busier for her with more time-management needed. So far we're trying the strategy of knocking out all the homework on Friday after school so that the rest of the week her "homework" is piano practice and reading.
*The social indoctrination of "girls don't wear dresses" is taking hold once again. I've seen this now each year (but quicker this time) where during the school year she abandons her dresses for jean shorts and t-shirts. (Basically she starts dressing like me- even though really she's dressing like the other girls in school.) During the summer the dresses come back and I consider it her natural state. She even commented that the older girls in school never wear dresses. Yup. I know. Why is this? Nothing wrong with shorts and pants of course. Certainly for Natalie this is her natural state as she hates dresses. This isn't the case for Frannie who has always preferred dresses and skirts. In general my thought process is that whatever she wants to wear is fine as long as whatever she's wearing is fine. She's learning to "fit in" at school. Even though I'd like her to just "be herself" realistically we all take cues from our surroundings as to what is right and appropriate. I would though like to encourage her to wear those things that I know she loves to wear. She can be a very creative dresser and I'm often impressed at the way she can mix colors and patterns in such nice ways. My secret delight is that she loves her looooong hair and wants to grow it longer. This is one way she isn't just like everyone else at school and I like that she likes this special quality about her appearance. (More about the shorts thing- it could also have to do with more PE activities. They make them run a lot.)
*We are homeschooling tap. I found an awesome brand-new pair of Bloch tap shoes at the thrift store in just Frannie's size. Well, a 1/2 size big which is perfect so that she can wear them longer. $3.50 for $50 shoes. LOVE IT!.So since I was disappointed at the teaching at her dance studio, I've decided to just show her how to do tap since I took classes for so many years. We've been doing this for about 2 weeks and she's learned a LOT! She's commented more than once that she's learned more from me than she learned at ballet. I know. That's why I'm not spending the money for crappy dance lessons anymore.
*Natalie is adjusting to the kids being gone during the day by taking a big nap in the afternoon. It's like she's on a long car trip and she knows the quickest way to "get there" is to just sleep through it. So she's been sleeping in the afternoon and waking up just in time to go get the kids.
*Natalie is also learning to read. I knew she would pick up reading pretty easily because she memorizes everything really quickly. She memorizes words to songs much more quickly than Adam. And she memorizes the words of stories very quickly. Even though she can't really read it sometimes seems like she's reading because she remembers all of the words on the page. So without teaching her much of anything, she's sounding out some words.
*Adam is learning to read too, but I don't think he'll really learn until he's closer to 7 like Frannie was. He's doing well though and memorizing his sight words. I firmly believe piano has helped both kids with reading skills. Mrs. Myatt is surprised at how well he's doing with piano and frankly so am I. What I'm most surprised about is how much he practices. He said he didn't want to take piano, but I know how he is and I know that he always starts out saying he doesn't want to do things, but then he likes it later.
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Jason likes to match
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One of Jason's favorite things is to dress matchy-matchy with Adam. He even bought himself these Vans so that they could look even more similar. Lately, he tries to pick matching outfits every Sunday for church. I think this last picture is so adorable I think I'll print this one out.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Swim Coma
We've been swimming a lot this summer. (A lot means every day.) I may not like having a $220 association fee but I like having an easy activity to do with the kids.
Swimming also has the bonus of being a sleeping pill for children.
Swimming also has the bonus of being a sleeping pill for children.
 |
| "Life Force gone. Cannot go on." |
 |
| She's what, maybe 10 minutes out of the water? |
A child's perspective on the house
Frannie said to me the other day, "Mom, I hope we never move."
"Why?"
"Because our house is so cozy!"
"Our house is cozy? Really? Which room is your favorite?
"Your room."
"My room? (I was really surprised to hear this.) Why?"
"Because it is just so cozy!"
I really thought she'd say her room or the living room or basically any place that she plays the most or reads the most.
But her favorite room is our room. And her response reminded me of this post from Leila at Like Mother, Like Daughter http://ourmothersdaughters.blogspot.com/2010/03/reasonably-clean-house-did-you-guess.html
She writes, " Your home has many areas that express family life, but your bedroom expresses the foundational relationship between you and your spouse -- the inner sanctum where the sacrament of your marriage is consecrated and continually renewed with the conjugal gift.
If it weren't for the intimate aspect of your commitment, your family would not be. ...Once you make it a priority to keep your bedroom reasonably neat, clean, and tidy, you will notice that besides gaining your husband's gratitude, your children respect it more as they grow older.
Do you see how that contributes, however humbly, to their understanding of the preciousness of marriage and the home -- and the reverence that both you and your husband have for your relationship? Do you see how this lesson, an unspoken one, will carry its message to a new generation? Who knew that you were expressing so much by cleaning a room?"
"Why?"
"Because our house is so cozy!"
"Our house is cozy? Really? Which room is your favorite?
"Your room."
"My room? (I was really surprised to hear this.) Why?"
"Because it is just so cozy!"
I really thought she'd say her room or the living room or basically any place that she plays the most or reads the most.
But her favorite room is our room. And her response reminded me of this post from Leila at Like Mother, Like Daughter http://ourmothersdaughters.blogspot.com/2010/03/reasonably-clean-house-did-you-guess.html
She writes, " Your home has many areas that express family life, but your bedroom expresses the foundational relationship between you and your spouse -- the inner sanctum where the sacrament of your marriage is consecrated and continually renewed with the conjugal gift.
If it weren't for the intimate aspect of your commitment, your family would not be. ...Once you make it a priority to keep your bedroom reasonably neat, clean, and tidy, you will notice that besides gaining your husband's gratitude, your children respect it more as they grow older.
Do you see how that contributes, however humbly, to their understanding of the preciousness of marriage and the home -- and the reverence that both you and your husband have for your relationship? Do you see how this lesson, an unspoken one, will carry its message to a new generation? Who knew that you were expressing so much by cleaning a room?"
Monday, August 5, 2013
Chow Mein
I thought it would be fun to have the kids try new foods so I brought home a can of sardines from TJs.
When I popped and peeled back the lid the kids said EEEWWW when they saw the fish in olive oil with the head and tail cut off.
But I forged ahead and speared one with my fork, flaked it up, and got a nice little heap to go on a cracker.
"There! Try it."
And so they did. And they liked it! They kept asking for more until all three fish in the can were gone.
Later in the day we were in the car and Adam says, "Mom, I'm hungry. Can I have some of that chow mein?"
"Chow mein? We don't have chow mein. What are you talking about?"
"You know, that chow mein. With the crackers."
"Do you mean SAR-DINES!?"
"Oh, yeah, that."
And he still couldn't remember the name and all day long he's been asking me to go to the store to get chow mein.
When I popped and peeled back the lid the kids said EEEWWW when they saw the fish in olive oil with the head and tail cut off.
But I forged ahead and speared one with my fork, flaked it up, and got a nice little heap to go on a cracker.
"There! Try it."
And so they did. And they liked it! They kept asking for more until all three fish in the can were gone.
Later in the day we were in the car and Adam says, "Mom, I'm hungry. Can I have some of that chow mein?"
"Chow mein? We don't have chow mein. What are you talking about?"
"You know, that chow mein. With the crackers."
"Do you mean SAR-DINES!?"
"Oh, yeah, that."
And he still couldn't remember the name and all day long he's been asking me to go to the store to get chow mein.
Friday, August 2, 2013
Answers: 212, 122, 3 1/2, 7?8?9?10?
Questions:
1. How many squats did Francesca do yesterday?
2. How many did you (mom) do?
3. How many hours did Natalie "nap" today?
4. Number of days since your children last received a bath?
Sub-Questions
1. Why did she do this?
2. Why did you do this?
3. Why is this a big deal?
4. Why are you not bathing your children?
Sub-Answers
1. Because she's competitive- although I didn't quite realize how much!
2. Because I'm competitive too and Jason has been having squat competitions at work. I thought I could do between 60-100.
3. Because she's been a major grumpy-pants stinker for 2 days. I'm the only one in this house who's allowed to act like she's on her period.
4. Because they've had swim lessons every day for 2 weeks.
Sub-sub-Questions
1. Is she sore?
2. Are you sore?
3. Is Natalie being nicer?
4. Will you ever bathe the children?
Sub-sub Answers
1. Yes. Now she is. Took 24 hours to creep up on her. (Ben-Gay to the rescue!)
2. Yes. I wish I lived in a one-story.
3. Actually yes. She cleaned up the living room nicely. I'm glad she's feeling better.
4. Actually yes. They finally got shampoo/conditioner/ears-face-feet-booty scrubbed tonight. Francesca even got a coconut oil treatment in her hair. She says she smells like popcorn.
1. How many squats did Francesca do yesterday?
2. How many did you (mom) do?
3. How many hours did Natalie "nap" today?
4. Number of days since your children last received a bath?
Sub-Questions
1. Why did she do this?
2. Why did you do this?
3. Why is this a big deal?
4. Why are you not bathing your children?
Sub-Answers
1. Because she's competitive- although I didn't quite realize how much!
2. Because I'm competitive too and Jason has been having squat competitions at work. I thought I could do between 60-100.
3. Because she's been a major grumpy-pants stinker for 2 days. I'm the only one in this house who's allowed to act like she's on her period.
4. Because they've had swim lessons every day for 2 weeks.
Sub-sub-Questions
1. Is she sore?
2. Are you sore?
3. Is Natalie being nicer?
4. Will you ever bathe the children?
Sub-sub Answers
1. Yes. Now she is. Took 24 hours to creep up on her. (Ben-Gay to the rescue!)
2. Yes. I wish I lived in a one-story.
3. Actually yes. She cleaned up the living room nicely. I'm glad she's feeling better.
4. Actually yes. They finally got shampoo/conditioner/ears-face-feet-booty scrubbed tonight. Francesca even got a coconut oil treatment in her hair. She says she smells like popcorn.
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